Okay, so maybe I won’t have to bother anymore about searching for love… or is it fluff? Whatever that means. The idea of love itself in this generation is something that cannot easily be put into words. I know you may wonder what I mean, but stick around.
There is a lot of chaos going on in the world about love. Sometimes you think you have found love, only to be disappointed a week later. Or you think you have missed love, only to realize it was just fluff.
So, what exactly is going on here? Let’s unpack a few things.
Decades ago, from the baby boomers down to Gen.X, there was hardly a time when adults stayed single on purpose. They preferred to get married rather than remain single.
Statistics showed that nearly nine out of ten men married at the expected age; the same was true for women. But with the rise of technology and the internet, something shifted. Love began to take on new definitions.
We now have the hype of more money, more cars, more swag, and more material possessions.
We have developed high expectations for love and low expectations for value because of what we constantly see on social media. We think we now have many options. We can see everyone and meet anyone online.
The doors are open—no visas or permits required. Singles can date as many people as they want at the same time. We can see how love looks and feels on the other side, but we do not realize that it is not always that rosy.
What a man would want from a woman in marriage, he is already getting outside of marriage—so why should he marry? There seems to be no need for commitment that might take away his freedom and mobile lifestyle. It feels better to be single than married. Responsibility and accountability are also out of the question. So he can easily flex and enjoy his life.
But there is a downside. The single life harbors loneliness and boredom. Sometimes singles have nothing serious going on in their lives apart from job and career. There may be no deep commitment to life and purpose. Perhaps happiness and fulfillment in marriage make other areas of life more fulfilling. This is not to say that single people are not happy or fulfilled. Fulfillment, whether being single or married, ultimately depends on how intentionally one chooses to live.
The Valentine season is another adrenaline in the mix. It hypes the feelings of love while ignoring its value. People look for someone to express those feelings to but do not give the real substance—love. And love is not for one day; not for one week. It is for every day, all day!
Married people are not exempt from this singles’ crisis. A married man is still parading himself as single because he’s unhappy with his wife and he’s seeing a girl on social media that he loves. Also is a woman who just married but suddenly met her crush online and her partner at home is not giving her enough attention.
The fact that everyone is on their phones most of the time, there is no adequate communication between partners and even between parents and their children. And this is making sailing the ship called relationship difficult. When problems arise, they easily snowball into bigger ones because there is no time to solve them, and whatever solution is found is got online from single mentors and coaches.
If we do not address the problems social media creates—the fake lives people display, pretending to be who they are not, raising the bar of normal living with opulent lifestyles—then we are heading in the wrong direction. This bubble will burst sooner or later.
We need to detox from excessive social media consumption and focus on what truly adds value. There is also a need to turn our expectations into gratitude and our hopes into appreciation. Love is not hard, but people can make it hard. And being single is not bad if it is lived with purpose.
Life is short. But it can be deeply meaningful when lived with intention.
Love,
S.O PIENS, MD
14th of Feb. 2026
S.O PIENS, MD
14th of Feb. 2026
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